Day 10.

Today was a busy day. And basically, it started in the middle of the night. I couldn't fall asleep properly because of the movie (we watched The Fourth Kind) and everything annoyed me: the leaves in the wind, the fan, the clocks ticking, even my own breathing. I put some music in the ears and i gradually fell asleep when at one point, my eyes opened wide and i felt something's wrong. I ran to the corridor, where i found Kazuko standing near the bathroom, so i asked whether everything's ok. She told me everything's fine and i felt relieved and probably a little bit embarrassed for running out of the room like that and asking suspicious questions. But then, when i was turning around to go back, i hear Adam's (another wwoofer) voice from the bathroom, even though he's not supposed to be in this house in the middle of the night, and then Kazuko asked: "Excuse me, could you help me putting bandages?". Adam fell from the bike and hurt his hands and chin, so we cleaned the wounds and put some bandages on it. He was really nervous, which continued through out the whole day. And i understood him, but when i realized he's just worrying about his looks, it kinda didn't look that serious anymore. I mean, shit happens, but a scar on a chin of a man didn't hurt anyone yet. But it is his body and i guess his business, not mine...

After that i again couldn't fall asleep properly, but this time not just because of the movie but also because of Adam. My head was just buzzing with different thoughts. This got on my mood later on. In the morning, even though i was pretty tired, i even went jogging despite all the heat and my still hurting skin (from sunburn). But i really had to clear my mind. I feel this weight on me and it's getting heavier and heavier every minute. No idea where this negative energy comes from and why, but i have to accept it and deal with it.

The work itself wasn't as bad as i expected. I thought our host is gonna be totally bitchy towards us, because of last evening, but it wasn't quite the case. She was actually pretty friendly. I worked a lot though... In comparison to other days, it really felt like a normal working day. In the morning i baked french non-sweet vegetables cake and i was again totally overjoyed!

Since my cookies didn't turn out the way i want yesterday, i was afraid, i'm not gonna get any cooking tasks ever again! But i was wrong, thanx god. In the morning, while gathering all the ingredients in the kitchen, i've noticed a plastic box with my cookies, that she took for the kitchen. And that really made my morning. Big time! I was so upset about those cookies, but she even took some for her employees, so it cannot be thaaaat bad.

After lunch break i worked the whole time in the cafe. I washed the dishes, was also in the customer service, bringing the food, cleaning the tables, then was tagging new goods for sale and so on. The cafe is really cozy and has many small cute thingies! If i would live in Hino, i would probably come to Clare every now and then.

Working there made me tired, but happy, because i always wanted to have my own cafe one day and this is good experience for me. I'm glad i can see work behind the curtains, even though not everything is nice to know. It was actually pretty busy, but afterwards when we didn't have that many people i had the chance to talk to the host a little bit. She is strange... She is not the most pleasant person in the world, but i cannot just close my lips shut and not talk to anyone. I've been talking to other wwoofers about the rating we're gonna give to her after we finish our wwoofing. Most of them are gonna give negative rating, but i still have some time ahead of me.

After dinner we went to hanabi to Tachikawa. HANABI (for more pictures scroll down)!!! Actually, we left Hino way too late, so we had maybe just 20 minutes of hanabi this time, but it was still nice no matter what. Adam of course stayed at home, but all of us went there... On our way back home, part of us got separated, so we were supposed to go back home immediately, but we took a brief walk in Tachikawa before going back home. I'm going to be near Osaka and Kyoto in August, so i'm already looking forward to the festivals week, because it should be awesome down there! I have a little bit more than one week at this host and then i'm leaving to another one...

In the evening my mood got even worse. I feel this bad energy crawling upon me and it's really difficult. I wanna put on some kinda shell and just ignore the rest of the world but at the same point i also want this stupid mood just to go away and be open to everything and everyone again. As always - i'm so dualistic. I'm thinking about next year in university, about my further path, about my relationship, about me exhibition and tons of other things. And i get tired. I hope i can rest at least physically completely on my days off and hopefully it's gonna get better.

In the evening my mood got even worse. I feel this bad energy crawling upon me and it's really difficult. I wanna put on some kinda shell and just ignore the rest of the world but at the same point i also want this stupid mood just to go away and be open to everything and everyone again. As always - i'm so dualistic. I'm thinking about next year in university, about my further path, about my relationship, about me exhibition and tons of other things. And i get tired. I hope i can rest at least physically completely on my days off and hopefully it's gonna get better.

Hanabi:

Day 9.

So yeah... here i am, sitting in the bathroom, writing my blog, spoiling my itching feet with some green tea. I got allergy from weeding and it's killing me. Since i don't have any medicine for allergies, that's basically the best what i can do. The water tap is pretty much killing me as well, because i have to sit here for at least another 15 minutes and that dripping water really annoys me! But i'm too lazy to go there and do something to make it stop... And then again, today was a pretty stressful day full of ups and downs, so i guess everything and everyone can annoy me at the moment.

Today we did some serious weeding and were working straight from the morning. We were baking bread as always and doing some other chores. One of the best tasks was picking blueberries! I kinda enjoyed it, even though we

couldn't eat them of course. But of course, oooh

of

course, we did a little bit. Even though it was stressful from the beginning it kinda slowed

down around afternoon.

We girls, helped with cooking a little bit and then washed the dishes, but afterwards we basically were just sitting here and there, drinking some chilled tea, we even got some sweets from the host which was quite a surprise. Then she offered us to bake something sweet and we went for cinnamon butter cookies, which turned out not quite like we expected (the first tray melted and became a cookie pizza rather than separate cookies), but it sure was delicious! That task really cheered me up, because i like baking sweets, even though i'm not good at it. But then again, we sucked at the task and couldn't finish it without being scolded. We couldn't find her and the micro-oven (oven looking like a microwave) wasn't working like we wanted or hoped, so we just tried something and unfortunately we took the wrong plate for it, so she was pissed at us for that. It was a little bit (a little bit??) unusual to see Kazuko (our host) in sucha good mood through out the whole day, so that kinda put everything back to its place. And still i was pretty much thrilled about today. And the evening was sure promising. Was. Promising...

However, our promising evening didn't go well.

We had boys cook today and i was totally enjoying it! Everyone was in a perfect mood before eating, we were chatting, laughing, started eating and noticed that there's not quite enough left for Tomoko when she comes over (she always does) and there's basically nothing for her spoiled child Mahiro, so we took bits from ourselves, so Tomoko has enough and the host-dad told us, that Mahiro doesn't eat curry rice, because it's too spicy, so we didn't leave anything for her except rice and salads, but well.. if she doesn't eat curry then what's the use of having another portion of it when it's not gonna be used??? So anyway, we also had two types of rice - the yellow ones and the white ones. We first used completely the white rice and then went with the yellow ones for the rest, but when we were done with distributing that one, we just left the yellow rice for other people who might come over later. We were already eating, still in totally good spirit and then she came... our host-mama, or should i say our host-(bitch)witch and made sucha drama out of the fact that we don't have white rice anymore. I mean, we didn't even know that there's sucha big difference between the rice. For god's sake, it's still rice! What does it matter if you're eating this or that? But anyway, she totally shouted at us and appeal to "family" subject, by saying: we are one big family, you have to think about everyone. But actually we did think about everyone, there was one portion left for Tomoko and since Mahiro doesn't eat curry according to our host-dad, we left just some more salads and rice for the small one. And you know, if you don't have enough rice, then just cook it, what's the big deal?

Anyway, she totally killed the mood. And it was sad, because some of the guys are leaving on sunday and monday and i wanna have as much as possible nice moments with them. After this spectacle we just went back to our rooms, but me and my roommate left the host house soon and went to the rest of us. But they went to party to the other city, so yeah...

Another disappointment was even later, when we came back and i found a plate with white rice, yellow rice and that portion of curry UNTOUCHED and even with foil on it and ready to be pushed into the fridge. So we actually gave food from our portions, so Tomoko could eat as well and in the end - no one even tasted it. Pretty unfair, huh?

I guess it's not gonna be an easy day tomorrow, because she's gonna take it out on us. But then again - somewhere deep inside of me, i hope i'm wrong for our own sake.