Day 18.

It is nice to have smth in common with a person from sucha different culture, don't you think? Today i met the guy from yesterday. We played guitars, chatted, went to eat - i was really enjoying the evening. Something impossible happened as well - i went to karaoke for the first time in my life. It's totally his fault! But i have to admit, that it was kinda fun... So, i am so sorry, that i always said 'no' and spoiled fun, from now on i will also go to karaoke with my friends.

Anyway, we were heading to the station already, when it hit me, that we have quite a few things in common and that again made me feel, that every each of us is just part of this world, we are all human beings, we are coming from the same roots. But because of education, friends, society system we greatly differ. That doesn't mean though, that we wouldn't be able to find a soul-mate or a dear friend in a totally foreign culture. I wouldn't call japanese culture totally foreign for me, because i'm interested in it and have been into it for a while now, but still, if we looked to the beginning of my life - i grew up differently than japanese kids, i had different education, different family, i lost the need to fit in, which is still really significant in Japan, and yet, i'm sitting in front of Hachioji's station and playing guitar, singing with a person, who could become a good friend of mine! And we talk, and i wanna talk more and more and more... This makes me wanna travel all around the world more and more every day! Find the clashing points in cultures and find the similarities, learn from different people, gain experience - become a rich personality...

Rain was pouring on my way back home, but i still had my smile on. I was a little bit upset down in my heart, because i knew i'm leaving really soon and i won't be able to meet the guy for long long time (maybe even couple of years!), and who knows if we would still have the wanting to meet after those years, but i still feel that he left a trace in my life. One doesn't have to be genius to impress people or leave a trace, even a small one, in their memories. One just has to have something real and genuine inside and open up at the right moment about the right things. He told me about a girl, who left a big impression on him, and the fact that he is able to value it means a lot for me. Because nowadays, emotions are left behind most of the time...

When we were playing, i was just enjoying the music and then i saw a group of foreigners taking pictures of each other, looking around and then another impossible thing happened - i saw on their T-shirts "Lietuva", which means Lithuania in lithuanian language. I was sooo wicked! I went to them and we just chatted about small things. They came here to the festival and the reason to go to Japan was a karate championship (by the way, japanese won... as always...), it was really nice to meet someone from my own country in Japan! Of course, when i'm in lithuanian gatherings or visiting the embassy, i meet lithuanians, but to meet someone (and they were maybe 6-7 people at once!!!) just by accident is nearly impossible. But things do happen, right..?

This evening is for the last one here in Hino, i got an unbelievable present from our hosts' son - a rilakkuma and a bag with it!!! That's also soo amazing, since i'm just crazy about rilakkuma. I wanted to do many things, but i didn't have any time for them, since i was pretty busy here and those 10 days passed by so fast. I promised my host-momma, that i'm gonna give pictures from Clare (the place where i work) to her, but i even had to break this promise, because i just didn't have enough time to retouch any of the pics. But this is not that big problem, since we all have internet nowadays.

Today i have lots to tell in fact, but because of the whole leaving mood and because of still too vivid experiences, it's difficult for me to put everything in a neat order. I'm not sure when i'll be able to write the next post, because i don't have any idea, if they will have internet in Sasayama, but i sure hope they will!

Day 10.

Today was a busy day. And basically, it started in the middle of the night. I couldn't fall asleep properly because of the movie (we watched The Fourth Kind) and everything annoyed me: the leaves in the wind, the fan, the clocks ticking, even my own breathing. I put some music in the ears and i gradually fell asleep when at one point, my eyes opened wide and i felt something's wrong. I ran to the corridor, where i found Kazuko standing near the bathroom, so i asked whether everything's ok. She told me everything's fine and i felt relieved and probably a little bit embarrassed for running out of the room like that and asking suspicious questions. But then, when i was turning around to go back, i hear Adam's (another wwoofer) voice from the bathroom, even though he's not supposed to be in this house in the middle of the night, and then Kazuko asked: "Excuse me, could you help me putting bandages?". Adam fell from the bike and hurt his hands and chin, so we cleaned the wounds and put some bandages on it. He was really nervous, which continued through out the whole day. And i understood him, but when i realized he's just worrying about his looks, it kinda didn't look that serious anymore. I mean, shit happens, but a scar on a chin of a man didn't hurt anyone yet. But it is his body and i guess his business, not mine...

After that i again couldn't fall asleep properly, but this time not just because of the movie but also because of Adam. My head was just buzzing with different thoughts. This got on my mood later on. In the morning, even though i was pretty tired, i even went jogging despite all the heat and my still hurting skin (from sunburn). But i really had to clear my mind. I feel this weight on me and it's getting heavier and heavier every minute. No idea where this negative energy comes from and why, but i have to accept it and deal with it.

The work itself wasn't as bad as i expected. I thought our host is gonna be totally bitchy towards us, because of last evening, but it wasn't quite the case. She was actually pretty friendly. I worked a lot though... In comparison to other days, it really felt like a normal working day. In the morning i baked french non-sweet vegetables cake and i was again totally overjoyed!

Since my cookies didn't turn out the way i want yesterday, i was afraid, i'm not gonna get any cooking tasks ever again! But i was wrong, thanx god. In the morning, while gathering all the ingredients in the kitchen, i've noticed a plastic box with my cookies, that she took for the kitchen. And that really made my morning. Big time! I was so upset about those cookies, but she even took some for her employees, so it cannot be thaaaat bad.

After lunch break i worked the whole time in the cafe. I washed the dishes, was also in the customer service, bringing the food, cleaning the tables, then was tagging new goods for sale and so on. The cafe is really cozy and has many small cute thingies! If i would live in Hino, i would probably come to Clare every now and then.

Working there made me tired, but happy, because i always wanted to have my own cafe one day and this is good experience for me. I'm glad i can see work behind the curtains, even though not everything is nice to know. It was actually pretty busy, but afterwards when we didn't have that many people i had the chance to talk to the host a little bit. She is strange... She is not the most pleasant person in the world, but i cannot just close my lips shut and not talk to anyone. I've been talking to other wwoofers about the rating we're gonna give to her after we finish our wwoofing. Most of them are gonna give negative rating, but i still have some time ahead of me.

After dinner we went to hanabi to Tachikawa. HANABI (for more pictures scroll down)!!! Actually, we left Hino way too late, so we had maybe just 20 minutes of hanabi this time, but it was still nice no matter what. Adam of course stayed at home, but all of us went there... On our way back home, part of us got separated, so we were supposed to go back home immediately, but we took a brief walk in Tachikawa before going back home. I'm going to be near Osaka and Kyoto in August, so i'm already looking forward to the festivals week, because it should be awesome down there! I have a little bit more than one week at this host and then i'm leaving to another one...

In the evening my mood got even worse. I feel this bad energy crawling upon me and it's really difficult. I wanna put on some kinda shell and just ignore the rest of the world but at the same point i also want this stupid mood just to go away and be open to everything and everyone again. As always - i'm so dualistic. I'm thinking about next year in university, about my further path, about my relationship, about me exhibition and tons of other things. And i get tired. I hope i can rest at least physically completely on my days off and hopefully it's gonna get better.

In the evening my mood got even worse. I feel this bad energy crawling upon me and it's really difficult. I wanna put on some kinda shell and just ignore the rest of the world but at the same point i also want this stupid mood just to go away and be open to everything and everyone again. As always - i'm so dualistic. I'm thinking about next year in university, about my further path, about my relationship, about me exhibition and tons of other things. And i get tired. I hope i can rest at least physically completely on my days off and hopefully it's gonna get better.

Hanabi: