Me on internet page again!

And yet again, i'm on internet page :) this time cause of an official occasion, so i'm pretty happy about this one.

It's in lithuanian (sorry for all the non-lithuanian speakers) and it's about my exhibition in Lithuania, take a look: http://www.manorajonas.lt/naujienos/gyvenimas/1959-kvadratiniais-kelias-atgal-grytant-japonijon 

Natural break.

When i can't stop life gives me a natural break. 

It's so sunny and nice outside right now, but i'm here - indoors, trying to fight my flu that i got from my grandmother. That's what i get for coming back home. My nose and so the whole face feels clogged badly, headache and throat pain are here to make my days less boring as well.

I always run and make new goals, new dreams, new plans, i always forget to rest, take a break, a deep breath. As i've mentioned before i'm gonna try making my morning routine more relaxed, take the rushing out of the list, which is supposed to give me more balance. 

As for now, i have to fight off my flu and come back home safely - today's the last day in Lithuania and then i'm off to Germany, where my home, my cats, rest of the friends and university awaits. Also, practical life which i highly dislike, but well, there's no running away from that - at least not now. 

As i'm gonna enter the last year of my university it's time for me to make new future plans, which is giving me a headache. There's three of them and of course, there's always the fourth one - the unexpected one, which can be basically anything. But i will have to make my decision sooner or later and the sooner it's gonna come, the better it's gonna be. 

This blog is my little anchor of coming back to my real world, always when i travel i tend to forget about it, but when i'm back at home i always find time to sit down and write, so it became almost somewhat of a symbol of my every day life. It's slowly becoming like a diary, which i don't like too much, but as long as i don't know what to write about for big period of time in great amounts, diary will do. 

Yesterday i opened my first big exhibition and it went so much better than i've expected! I got lots of flowers and many people gathered of which quite a few offered spontaneous speeches and praised me. Everything was so new for me! I messed up my opening speech, forgot lots of things that i wanted to say and also, it's difficult for me to talk in lithuanian that fluently as i could maybe 4 years back, but well... I have some space for improvements! I came to like my pictures more and more as the exhibition went on, there were other photographers all around me who kept on taking pictures - it was really unusual, but also really nice, i cannot lie. There's gonna be an article in the paper and things like that - i just officially entered the path i wanna be on. As much as my flu is bothering me right now, i cannot forget about yesterday and that still is giving me a huge boost! My mother's birthday was just a couple days ago and i had to turn modest about the fact, that i got more flowers, than she did on her birthday... 

One woman said: "I'm sure you're gonna be famous one day and we'll be proud that your first exhibition was here.". I really REALLY hope this is gonna come true...

Day 18.

It is nice to have smth in common with a person from sucha different culture, don't you think? Today i met the guy from yesterday. We played guitars, chatted, went to eat - i was really enjoying the evening. Something impossible happened as well - i went to karaoke for the first time in my life. It's totally his fault! But i have to admit, that it was kinda fun... So, i am so sorry, that i always said 'no' and spoiled fun, from now on i will also go to karaoke with my friends.

Anyway, we were heading to the station already, when it hit me, that we have quite a few things in common and that again made me feel, that every each of us is just part of this world, we are all human beings, we are coming from the same roots. But because of education, friends, society system we greatly differ. That doesn't mean though, that we wouldn't be able to find a soul-mate or a dear friend in a totally foreign culture. I wouldn't call japanese culture totally foreign for me, because i'm interested in it and have been into it for a while now, but still, if we looked to the beginning of my life - i grew up differently than japanese kids, i had different education, different family, i lost the need to fit in, which is still really significant in Japan, and yet, i'm sitting in front of Hachioji's station and playing guitar, singing with a person, who could become a good friend of mine! And we talk, and i wanna talk more and more and more... This makes me wanna travel all around the world more and more every day! Find the clashing points in cultures and find the similarities, learn from different people, gain experience - become a rich personality...

Rain was pouring on my way back home, but i still had my smile on. I was a little bit upset down in my heart, because i knew i'm leaving really soon and i won't be able to meet the guy for long long time (maybe even couple of years!), and who knows if we would still have the wanting to meet after those years, but i still feel that he left a trace in my life. One doesn't have to be genius to impress people or leave a trace, even a small one, in their memories. One just has to have something real and genuine inside and open up at the right moment about the right things. He told me about a girl, who left a big impression on him, and the fact that he is able to value it means a lot for me. Because nowadays, emotions are left behind most of the time...

When we were playing, i was just enjoying the music and then i saw a group of foreigners taking pictures of each other, looking around and then another impossible thing happened - i saw on their T-shirts "Lietuva", which means Lithuania in lithuanian language. I was sooo wicked! I went to them and we just chatted about small things. They came here to the festival and the reason to go to Japan was a karate championship (by the way, japanese won... as always...), it was really nice to meet someone from my own country in Japan! Of course, when i'm in lithuanian gatherings or visiting the embassy, i meet lithuanians, but to meet someone (and they were maybe 6-7 people at once!!!) just by accident is nearly impossible. But things do happen, right..?

This evening is for the last one here in Hino, i got an unbelievable present from our hosts' son - a rilakkuma and a bag with it!!! That's also soo amazing, since i'm just crazy about rilakkuma. I wanted to do many things, but i didn't have any time for them, since i was pretty busy here and those 10 days passed by so fast. I promised my host-momma, that i'm gonna give pictures from Clare (the place where i work) to her, but i even had to break this promise, because i just didn't have enough time to retouch any of the pics. But this is not that big problem, since we all have internet nowadays.

Today i have lots to tell in fact, but because of the whole leaving mood and because of still too vivid experiences, it's difficult for me to put everything in a neat order. I'm not sure when i'll be able to write the next post, because i don't have any idea, if they will have internet in Sasayama, but i sure hope they will!

Day 11.

So today two girls left already... Was strange to say good bye, even though we were working together just for a week. I might see them once more, because they're wwoofing on in Tokyo area, not too far from here, so i'm really hoping it works out well for us.

With one of the girls i was sharing the room, so it's kinda abnormal to come back to the room and see that other bed empty, so i'm happy we haven't wwoofed together for longer. Oh, sometimes i attach to people so quick.

Before they left, we all together went to a chinese restaurant, which WASN'T that nice, but still i enjoyed some time together. However, my belly was pretty much upset later on, because of that greasy, heavy chinese cooking. Our host was supposed to join us, but because of something she just rushed into the restaurant, took a look at the table (which had exactly 6 seats, so we were all sitting and there were no place more, but we were grabbing another chair!!!) and left. Her behavior does piss me off sometimes (not just me...), but i manage not to take it personally or seriously, because it's just not worth doing that! She's a person like that and no one can change it. It's up for us to just ignore it... After leaving this host, i of course gonna give the rating for it and probably it's gonna be rather negative because of her character. Even though it cannot be changed, but still it affects the quality of the host and the general atmosphere, so it counts as well. She should consider learning some communication skills. It wouldn't be bad.

This was my first day off and i was planning to lay down in the sun, since i still have my back side completely white and front side completely brown, so i wanted to fix this stupidity. But surprise, surprise, the weather's not good for sunbathing. It was cloudy and the sun was hiding all the time. It was hot though, so i was relieved in the evening to feel that nice breeze and fresh air, which you can actually breathe in. I hope i can get some sun on my next day off tomorrow, because afterwards i'm working again.

Having weather condition like that, i've decided to stay at home and take a nap. Afterwards we went to Tachikawa, to the cinema with guys. We watched Inception, which was oh boy, how amazing. Before the movie started we decided to have some fun like an average japanese

youngster - we went to arcade to play some games. We didn't wanna go for Pachinko or just simple slots, so we found a nice arcade called Sega (or Plus Sega, i don't remember well) just near Tachikawa station. I have to say, that it was actually fun, even though i couldn't grab my Rilakkuma plush toy in the grabbing machine. I tried so hard, but i just kept on failing... Stupid machines!!! I wish someone would grab that bear for me one day... Oh yeah, and i got my ass kicked by Adam at Tekken 6. I guess, he was just lucky, right?

Hanging out with three guys brought lots of memories actually. It reminded me of our "gang" back in the days, when i was still living in Lithuania. Me and three guys, who were making every day worthy going through. It is true, we split apart rather rapidly after i started living abroad, but i do miss them and it would be a lie if i said i missed them every once in a while - i really miss them all the time. I'm not sitting in the corner and crying, but they have their place in my heart/brain.

My heavy mood doesn't have many chances to take over me, but it sets in every time i stay alone and gets more and more aggressive when it does that. Even though it seems that not much is happening, i'm having tornados inside of me. I am having so many new experiences, that sometimes it's hard to cope with that and put everything in the right drawer, find the right box for all those different thoughts and feelings and emotions. As i already have mentioned before, i think that this summer is gonna be a blast! Which means however, that it's gonna be difficult to come back and continue my normal life...