Day 68. NO PICS YET.

Today i was angry with myself right in the morning. Weather forecast was rain and clouds as always and since past days were like that, i even didn't doubt it, so i just enjoyed my sleep and staid in bed until 12 oclock (i staid up late last night!!), but when i woke up and opened my eyes i saw that blue sky and sun!! And i was sooo angry with myself, then i went to facebook and saw friend's messages on my wall like "fuck, wake up!" and i was angry even more... But luckily she logged into facebook again and we decided to meet - it's a girl i met in Sasayama while wwoofing. She's lovely and she reminds me of one person... 

We went to Imperial Palace and took a walk, ate my home-made onigiri and just chatted... We met in Tokyo station and i could praise my intuition once again! Last year i stayed out of Tokyo station by all means, but this year i couldn't avoid it and now i understand why subconsciously i didn't wanna go there - it's a mess there. It's not as big as Shinjuku for example, but it's really spacious and there's not much of directions and maps, so basically you have arrows pointing this and that, but when you arrive the arrows disappear, so you're left with guessing. Did not like it!  

Imperial Palace is a big park after all... It's nice for walking around, i might come back again! I liked it.

After that we went to Mitaka and just walked around. It's a nice district. Mitaka and Kichijoji - there i can go quite often. It's a little bit further away from the center of Tokyo, so it's a big relieve to be out there... 

In the evening i met Cody and Reiko - two people also from Sasayama wwoofing. They are extremely lovely people and one of those who make my going back to Europe harder. Leaving all those people here is heartbreaking. Even though i DID miss my friends back at home, i really did...

Tomorrow i'm going to Ainu Matsuri and gonna be surrounded by nature - totally looking forward to it. 

Today was sunny, but actually cold and i'm worried i caught a cold, but i'm a tough girl - i won't let any illness bring me down on my journey in Japan. 

Day 37.

Today i unfortunately have nothing much to say... After spending most of the day at the computer, i managed to launch my internet page! But that's basically it.

I am leaving tomorrow so i'm feeling a little bit numb. Don't wanna go really, but i've already started packing, already have arrangements for my next travels and i know i'm gonna go, it's just... I'm getting pretty emotional when i think about it. I got used to the people around me as well, but it's not about people that i'm worried - it's more about me myself. This place is really good for me. Sometimes i think that if i add couple of things more to here it would be perfect, but then i catch myself and ask: if i add them, would it really become better? Or maybe worse? Coz then it's not the same anymore...

Day 36.

It's getting extremely hot again! That's kinda weird, because i thought that summer heat is over already, since it was getting cooler and cooler and then it hit us again! I even don't dare to imagine how hot it is somewhere in Tokyo or in any other big city at the moment... We're lucky to have lots of trees that filter the air through, we have mountains, so it's a little bit better than in concrete jungle. Well, to be honest - it's way better, not just a little bit.

Today i spent extremely a lot time for my internet page and i'm happy to announce that i've done almost everything and just gallery waits for the pictures to be uploaded, which i'm gonna do tomorrow and launch it! Even though it's just a stupid page on one hand, done with flash for free, but on the other hand, it means a lot for me. Even though sometimes i don't really know what i'm doing with my photography and if i'm gonna be able to achieve my goals that i have, but this is a big step towards the final goal. After all, not the result, but the process is important in most of the cases.

Today is our day off, but we had 10 kids coming to us for a small experiment, so they can have fun, we can have fun (*cough cough*) and their parents can have fun seeing the kids having fun. To be honest, i thought the whole thing needed a little bit more organizing, but it went quite well in the end. Kids seemed like having fun, and the head of this even - Seth Sensei, was also quite pleased, so the goal was more or less achieved.

Even though the experiment itself didn't go too well, basically - everyone failed, but the room was filled with laughter and positivity.

Just one negative thing on our host's side... Which is part of organizing things. It took us about 3-4 hours, even though we were told it's gonna take just around 1 hour. And then people might think, that i'm complaining again, but it's just difference in doing things. If i say, it's taking 1 hour, it shouldn't go over 2 hours at least (for me 1,5 hour would be the limit i guess...), so it's just misunderstandings. Just like with wwoof profiles sometimes - the things we have here are amazing and i'm happy to be there, but the fact that it's almost total difference than the profile isn't nice. Especially for those people who are really looking at the profile... (Like myself)

After this whole experiment thing, we had a conversation with one guy which wasn't nice. Yesterday was our "Friday" so we fucked up big time... Yoshi came over, guys had beers, snacks, we had guitar, so we relaxed too much and made too much noise. And some people got really really upset... The way of telling that was maybe wrong, because it was really judgmental and personal, but the things he was talking about were all true and reasonable. After the conversation i pretty much felt like a piece of shit, because it WAS a mistake, that we all did, and we shouldn't have done that. For all those who are gonna wwoof there i would have just one simple thing to say - if you are there, you HAVE to live like everyone around you does, which means that even though we're mostly young people, we cannot just go party all night, because it's not what we do in Tsuji. That was something good to understand for me, because it's a good experience for my life. I'm leaving Tsuji soon, but it's a good lesson for my future. Respect your surroundings not just theoretically, but be the surroundings - when you realize you're part of it, you immediately will respect it way more.

For a positive note, more pictures from the kids day:

Day 35.

Today was my last working day in Sasayama... It's both - nice and unpleasant. It's kinda nice, because i know i'll get almost a week long vacation before my next host, but it makes me sad to realize i'm really leaving. The time here passed by faster than expected. I really hope i'll have the chance to come back again!

For my last day at work i had a really precise work to do, so i was crouching, kneeling and sitting in between the rows the whole day. I had to thin out plants that someone fucked up really big time. When you're doing job like that you really think: what the fuck did someone do here?? You clearly see how much someone care about the job they're doing... It's a pity someone just doesn't give a shit about this place, they come and leave, they just do anything to be in the schedule of those working hours, but they don't really care about our community. What you see in the picture is before and after and for this kinda result you spend hours! And with every plant you tear out you are getting angrier and angrier at that Mister Someone and also, with every plant you think how much could you harvest if that job would have been done right. I had to take about 95% of the plants out and just simply throw them out.

Culmination of those thoughts about how much did we throw out today was a movie called Home, which confronted me not just with beautiful pictures of this planet, but also with the real facts and images of people, bringing this world down.

And after the movie i think about where i am right now and what i'm doing and i'm at ease with my doings at the moment... I know that at the moment, i'm not one of those bad guys. I always liked healthy living, simple foods and i assumed i'm environment conscious and that was true, but i had more thoughts in theory than practice. Wwoofing in Sasayama gave me yet another perspective, it proved to me, that it is possible to live in a different way and i am gonna change a lot in my life after i come back to Europe.

If we talked about food a bit more, today something really simple made me happy. We had bread for lunch and everyone was satisfied because of that! It's so nice to see that people do appreciate things like that, but of course, when we're back to our regular lives, we'll go to the supermarket, throw a pack of bread into our baskets and won't think about appreciation anymore. If people would eat simply at least twice a week, it would already make a difference, but most of the people are so spoiled by all this supermarket consumption culture, that they don't care what they eat, because they know - supermarkets are gonna be always full. But what are we gonna do with full supermarkets, when the whole planet is gonna fail..??

Day 34.

I am totally failing when it comes to me blog. I was around 10 days behind and just made notes, so i had to spend an unbelievably lots of time at once to finish the posts and publish them. Stupid me. It is nice to write and let you know how i am, and yes, i am kinda addicted to internet, but i wouldn't say i missed it THAT much. There are things, that had to be taken care of, so internet is a must for me, besides, most of my friends live abroad, so i would be really lonely without internet sometimes. But being in Sasayama gives you lots to think about and lots to do, and so, internet isn't just the only thing you wanna have. I would be happy if i could have switched 1 hour of internet to a bottle of milk.

Nothing is perfect, but then again - it depends on how we perceive it. If we want to, we'll always be able to find minuses, because the nature itself isn't perfect, but we might wanna see the bright side all the time and enjoy our life at least a little bit, huh?

Today someone made a joke during the tea break which was understood wrong and we had some discussions, which all ended up in our host, coming down to our place and a 2 hours talking (of course) during OUR free time. That kinda gathering was kinda necessary, but to be honest, i wasn't happy spending 2 hours of my lunch break for that. I would rather sit down after dinner and talk about everything, than use lunch break for that, when everyone wants to cook, eat, sleep, relax, swim, but not talk about uneasy things.

Some people are really unhappy about couple of things here, some people understand some people wrong, some people go to personal, some might insult you - it happens here. It really does. But hell, we're 15 people with different ideas living under one roof! Although i have to admit, that some people handle it really wrong. I've seen here some heavy arguments (and been in couple of them already), i've seen unhappy faces, i've heard lots and lots of complaints and i've even seen tears - that is not the right way, i think. But it's also all about timing... If you click with the people around you or not - yes or no, 50/50, just your own luck.

After today's conversation i kinda wanted to pack my things and go. Why? Not because of the conversation itself, but because of the reason behind the conversation. Someone made a joke about it, so another "grown up" ran to the host immediately and told everything... I mean come on. But i couldn't and didn't leave. My host in Osaka disappeared, so when i was looking for another host, we had arrangements for a certain date and it was already too late to change it.

By the way, i still don't have a place to stay in Kyoto, but my hope's still here! Maybe i'm spoiled by good things too much, but i'm used to lithuanian way of handling those kinda things (wow... i rarely speak about my home country, huh?). You call one friend and ask him/her to call another, so that one could contact someone else and it's almost definite that you're gonna find someone who can accept you. In any city in Lithuania, but i haven't seen that too much in other countries. In Germany for example, i think this way would most possibly fail.

In the afternoon working period i had the urge to speak german. I guess i missed it, so when i approached the german wwoofer i just started speaking german and we ended up in speaking about stuff for the whole evening just when we're two of us and not too many people are around - it's not fair for those who don't understand german, which in our case is - the rest of us. Lots of people say, that german isn't popular anymore, you don't need it anymore at all, that the language itself is too difficult and not beautiful, too harsh, but i like it. Even though i have to take some credits and say that for a foreigner, i speak well german already, but for me - it's not even the halfway. My goal is really really far away, but maybe i'll reach it one day. I want to be really fluent in most of the topics and wanna forget about making mistakes, even once in a while. But i notice that just when i stop using the language it's harder with every day to start talking again, that's why it was nice to have someone around who i can talk german to.

Oh, today we finally had rain! And pretty heavy rain, so our plants should be happy about that. They’re gonna be pretty much spoiled, since the rain started exactly after we finished watering them, but the more water, the better. We do want those seedlings to grow into big strong plants and give us lots of fresh tasty vegetables! I feel a strong connection with our fields, vegetables, and it’s growing every day. Even though sometimes i feel like not doing something that has to be done also on our days off, but i know that it’s better to do it and not just for the plants, but also for myself - i know i always feel happy after watering them, taking care of them.

Work in a farm is a really difficult one, no doubt about it, but it also brings you joy. Also, even though it’s sometimes physically tough job, mentally you feel refreshed after you finished with your chores. That is indeed a good experience for me, since i would like to have a farm one day by myself, but i also understand that i cannot think about it lightly and have to be really, and i mean, really prepared before i make that step. For me it is difficult to have so many dreams and goals and wishes, but i realized one thing - that i don't have to do everything at once. I'll have to set priorities in my life and just take life as it comes, but never forget my goals and put them into my life one by one. I want my goals to get ripe before i do it. One funny fact, which i keep on remembering lately - at the moment i am living in a dream literally, because what i've been doing lately was and still is one of my dreams. Of course, practical life ruins it rather often, but if i put that fact aside, it's nice to admit that i am living my own dream... I just have to appreciate it more.

Tomorrow's my last working day, afterwards we have two days off and i'm leaving after our "weekend". Osaka, Kyoto and then my last host in Omaezaki. It's sad to leave, but i'm waiting for the beach of Omaezaki where i could go swim all the time! Should be interesting, since i've never been there... Actually, this whole trip is one big travel. Last year i basically spent my time in Tokyo, travelled to Yokohama and Kamakura, but not too much. But this time i'm travelling all over and that's really interesting! I get to see different Japan and, of course, i get the chance to fall in love with different Japan. Day by day i attach to this country more and more and day by day it's getting harder to realize i'll have to go back... One wicked thought - what if i got married and stayed one time?

Day 32 and Day 33.

Slowly there’s routine entering every day. It’s not a real routine, since we have so many different people here, so it’s never boring, but still... We’re back on 6 am start, which is way better than 8 am for me personally, so i’m kinda happy. It’s getting really hot again, so even the last hours in the first period of work are pretty tough, so i wouldn’t even imagine what it would be like to work from 8 am until 12 pm.

With the routine coming and by abandoning the internet more and more i feel days starting to melt, fuse into each other and just pass by as a big mass. It’s hard to separate things from each other, because everything just happens here and for me it’s one big experience. And just now i’ve noticed that it’s already over a month when i’m in Japan. And i already managed to calm down and feel at ease, which brings me back to panic if i think about October when i’m going back. I’m not just freaking out about my exhibition, but also about my future life. I’m gonna have to make some important decisions and i’m always so bad with that, i always tend to fuck up and choose the wrong way. But i’ll never know which way is the best, if i don’t try.

Today someone made me really really happy. And that someone is a friend of our family - Yoshi. Last time he was at our place, i told him to bring his guitar next time he’s coming to us, but what he did took me by surprise. He came, brought the guitar and said he cannot stay, cause he’s going back to work. So basically, he came here to bring me a guitar, so i could play. Isn’t that nice of him? He’s one of those people, who i would like to keep in my future life and it’s sad that it’s not possible after i leave Sasayama. But i have to face the reality. I met more people while wwoofing, who could be good friends, i think, but after our wwoofing or our summer ends, we’re all going back to our own places and most possibly never talking or meeting again.

Today i started peeling really badly - my legs are completely covered with liquid blisters, which scares the shit out of me, but i try not to touch them. But i cannot resist peeling my own skin off - it’s so much fun. I remember doing that to my father, when i used to be small, i always loved it. Even though i look like a zombie with my skin peeling off and i’m afraid of what’s gonna happen to my skin after i’m done peeling, i feel relieved that the actual sunburn is already over, because even though it itches, it doesn’t hurt anymore and i’m happy to be back to life without that immense pain.

I already started thinking about leaving, since it’s just couple of days ahead and that makes me kinda sad. If i didn’t have my next host, i would probably stay here for another while, maybe for the whole september until i go back to Tokyo. But i don’t wanna cancel my next host, because it’s something i don’t like doing - if i said i’m coming, that means i am coming. Besides, i’m really looking forward to that host! And i really do wanna work on the beach. When i find a nice place, I immediately wanna stay, because i’m still looking for home for myself. And it’s really strong in me... And when i feel cozy and peaceful i automatically want that to never end, but maybe it’s better for me in this stage of life to explore as much as possible, so i have to let it go, even though it’s nearly perfect...

Day 31.

Today i feel totally drained. We had a big big big working day. Basically, I did 8 hours with 10 minutes break. The work itself wasn’t too hard, but still - the fact that i wasn’t able to just lay down and relax kinda made me really tired.

Today we did language game with Yumi, so she gets to learn some english and i get to learn some japanese and in the evening she was brave enough to join me and Reiko for an evening swim. What a great girl!

Even though today was a dreadful day because of long work, and even though i found a chance to complain, i cannot say i started disliking this place - quite in opposite, i come to love this place every day more and more. Here i am finally able to block thoughts about normal life pretty well, so i’m just living a dream at the moment and being happy about things and people surrounding me here and now.

My sunburn is still killing me. I cannot move properly, cannot sit, walk, lie down so it’s a big headache, but i will live. I’m not sure about my back, but blisters are starting to form on my legs. I’m a little bit afraid, but damage is done and i guess i just have to leave it be.

Day 30.

Today we have yet another person to stay at our place. It’s not a wwoofer, but a girl from our host’s english school. Parents decided to bring her over here for couple of days, so she can have the chance to hear and speak some english, but also experience the life on a project like ours. She’s a lovely 12 years old and i really hope this is not gonna turn into a bad experience, but her english is quite ok, so i’m sure she’s gonna be fine. Yumi is really friendly, even though sometimes too shy, but we do our best in not scaring her!

I cannot decide if the parents sent her to us for the experience or for discipline. We were joking, that Yumi’s parents are gonna remind her about that place and threaten her when she’s not doing homework - might be true.

One farmer family today made us really happy. They brought us a huge bag of rice, pork,

chicken, watermelon and eggs! That’s was really generous of them. So in the evening we had pork and chicken kaboobs on the barbecue. Was a really nice dinner... And we’re saving the watermelon for tomorrow’s tea breaks. At those points you bow really low, because you know they don’t have to be that generous, so you bow not just for the goods you get, but you bow for them as human beings. And inside you’re happy that there are still people like them, who want to be friendly, who want to make other people happy and who want to share. They still haven’t forgotten, that they’re not alone in this big world.

Day 29.

I love being in the house alone... It's so peaceful here and if you wake up on your days off early enough, you can enjoy morning's freshness, fill your lungs with it, let your body get the shivers, let your mind become dizzy and with breathing out land back on this real ground. Go back from your ecstasy. This is something i'm gonna miss after leaving this place - the peace here, the mountains, the fresh water in the river, the tasty air. Lots of people go out on their days off, have fun, but i just wanna stay in the house and take it easy. One of my goals when i came here was to get some peace into my life and this place definitely helped me achieve that.

However, one of the goals ended up in total failure - my japanese practice. I mostly speak english, so i really do hope my last host is gonna speak just japanese with me, so i can learn. So i still have hope i can catch up in those last three weeks in Omaezaki.

Today two new wwoofers arrived and two people left and even with the same amount the family feels way smaller. The new guys are lots of fun, they're friendly, warm and helpful, but for us they are still new and so it seems we still have experienced a loss because of the other guys leaving... It's hard having those changes here sometimes, because you want those people to stay, but they just leave and go their own way. If i would be able to stay here for longer, i guess that would be my biggest problem - dealing with people leave.

The new guys are a couple - a japanese girl and a japanese/american guy and you know what? I constantly have to ask myself: are all japanese/american men so fucking hot??? And then naturally, comes another question: are they all in relationship already? Because i would like to have one for myself as well. In Europe we don't have that many mixtures, so i'm taking the chance and drooling while i'm still in Japan.

Day 28.

I got another sunburn... This time my back side. I wanted to get a tan, but i fell asleep and can give you a tip: two hours under japanese sun is too much! I’m totally red again and aching like shit. I also learned that sunburn on your back side is way worse then the front side, because when you’re burned on the front, you at least can sit properly, but i’m struggling every time i have to sit down, no matter where - couch, chair, floor and even toilet! It’s really strange that my hands became brown during the day, even though they were also really red, but my legs and back stayed red and aching.

I think i also got exposed to the sun way too long, because afterwards when we went to the city i got really dizzy and had to stop suddenly, sit down, regain my strength. I was a little bit dehydrated but it was also the sun - i just couldn’t see anything and it wasn’t black in my eyes, it was white!!! Never had this. I got worried a little bit, so i ate chocolate and drank 2 liters of sugary apple juice right away. I think i should take my health a bit more seriously, because sometimes i just don’t care about myself, which is actually against my own principles of living.

Today was Hiro’s birthday, so we decided to prepare something nice for him (and us!). We couldn’t bake a cake, cause it’s just impossible to do that here, but we made some nice jelly cups with fruits in it. We made two layers - strawberry and

melon jelly and it was soooo delicious and refreshing! We had to collect some money for that though, so some of us just didn’t eat it. Well, more for us, huh?

It would have been nicer if we did something all together, but some of they guys were off to play golf, the rest was just somewhere, so we had a quiet evening. Even though Hiro is japanese, he’s quite different than a regular japanese man, he’s not as shy, but has fair amount of modesty. Everyone really liked him, even though he wasn’t the one who was in the center of attention (like me, Toby or Joe or some other people who left already), but he’s always helpful, doesn’t complain and knows quite a lot. We might meet in September, when i’m in Tokyo - that would be really great!

Day 27.

Such an onion day! Today our small group of four people went to another location, to help out with sorting onions. Even though we were working in the greenhouse (fucking hot!) it was really pleasant day... The farmer was interesting and could speak english, the other two helpers were fair age women. Those were the craziest women i’ve ever met! They spoke just japanese

and really fast, but i sure did my best in communicating with them a little bit. It is always so funny, when people don’t know that i speak japanese, and then in the middle of nowhere i start translating what other wwoofers try to say in english, or reply to them when they’re talking about something that’s regarding us. That’s always a surprise to them! During the breaks we had, farmer brought us ice cream, snacks and drinks - so nice of him, isn’t it?

We got tons of food to bring back from the farmer. Normally i was all the time working in our fields, and then you’re not getting anything to bring back, because you’re working for yourself. We do harvest things and i’m always happy to bring back as many vegetables as possible, but today our group got a big paycheck in form of food which made me so proud of ourselves. We are providing food and that’s really important to our community, since we eat what we get. Lately the food wasn’t too good and all the time the same and we kinda ran out of fresh tomatoes - they are getting ripe again now, but it was just couple of days, where we had over 20 people and all the ripe tomatoes and other vegetables were eaten. The same food is pretty good for your body, but it gets on your mood sometimes, when you don’t really know what you’re going to eat and you’re not really sure if there’s gonna be something to eat, although we never ran out of food and all the time were full - never hungry. Anyway, today we all felt a little bit relieved, having pumpkins, tomatoes, cucumbers, we harvested quite a few eggplants and squash, had cabbages, so we had the reason to smile.

Our "paycheck"

This wwoofing place is really interesting, because we are all part of a project, which involves the whole region - we’re not really wwoofing for the host himself, we’re working in our fields and growing things for ourselves and also we’re everyday doing volunteer work for other (!) farmers, who need help but cannot pay. There are many farmers around this area, who are already old and it’s hard for them to manage all the fields, so what they would do in weeks, we can make it in a day or two, because we have lots of workers. All they give to us is bag of potatoes or rice, sometimes soup or other household tools. It is impressive when you’re thinking about the help we are actually giving to the farmers. It’s a beautiful project and i’m glad i can be a part of it...

Tomorrow three other guys are leaving us and our family is getting smaller again. So we decided to have a dress up party tonight and just go crazy, since it’s our “Friday”. It was nice, because even though we spend lots of time together, we haven’t done any parties or anything of

that kind. We had some snacks and guys had drinks. The drinkers played a sake game, so lots of them got wasted by the end of the day. It was good to ventilate our mind a little bit.

In the evening we had one new wwoofer from Germany, but we’re still a pretty small family in comparison to what we had when every room was filled with couple of wwoofers! I really like this place, even though it has lots of bad sides, but overall rating would be definitely a good one!

I decided to manage my blog in a different way. I’m not gonna merge the posts itself, i’m trying to write about each day separately. But i cannot publish the posts as often as i would like to, so it might happen, that i publish two or three posts at once. But i think it’s a better way to deal with it in this kinda situation.

Day 25.

Today we had a day off because of the festival in Sasayama. Before the festival we went to the Host’s house and had a barbecue, home made pizzas, some of us had beer or two (or three and

more). The food was really delicious and the atmosphere was really good. There was some people who i didn’t know before, some of host’s friends, but all of them were really friendly. We didn’t spend too much time there, but it was one nice afternoon. It was filled with lots of different people and music - i learned a little bit how to play jambe, i tried some wicked home made guitar, touched cello for the first time and had the opportunity to sit down at the piano. After maybe 3-4 years i played piano again. It was painful to realize, how much i’ve forgotten. Fingers kept on slipping from the keys as i played, so i had to concentrate not just on the notes, but also on the keyboard. And i couldn’t play anything proper, but it made so much fun i had to ask myself: “Why did i stop playing at all?”. Well, back in Germany i don’t have a piano, so it would be difficult for me to practice, but maybe i should try buying an electronic one? Would be better than nothing. Some of the japanese girls played really well, so i was just lying down and enjoying it. And i really do wanna get better again...

So today’s festival was quite a challenge for me, because the leg was still aching with every step and i felt this big chunk of muscle cramped into one piece. But having the opportunity to wear

yukata (a summer kimono-like clothing) even made the pain dissolve a little bit! It was my first time and i completely loved it. I wonder how a real kimono feels like, maybe i will get the chance to wear it one day. I’ve been trying so many things here and that makes me really happy. I’m gonna come back to Europe with a huge luggage of experience. Since that was one of my goals i’m happy i was able to achieve it. But experiencing this, makes me wanna travel more and more, go here and there, visit this and that and it’s not getting out of my head. My dreams are getting bigger, but the time is running out every day.

The festival was different from the ones, i’m used to. It wasn’t a street festival, it took place in a

park, so it had a separate area with all those food kiosks and souvenirs and fish catching places, and there was another area where the dancing and the fireworks, and eventually the taiko performances were to observe. I was waiting for the latter one most, because i enjoy drumming so much. The performance seemed promising of the quantity of drums, but it was weaker than the one in Hachioji. Anyway, it was a nice performance and i was enjoying it; afterwards i talked to some drummers and we decided we could maybe have some taiko lessons for the wwoofers. I really hope we manage to arrange this while i’m still here!

From tomorrow we’re changing working times a little bit, so we’ll have to adjust to the new working schedule. We’re gonna start working from 8 am and go until 5 pm, which means shorter break, but then again, the working day seems to be not as extended as it used to be, when we had 6 am until 6 pm. We’re still don’t know if it’s gonna be permanent starting tomorrow, but today was a long day for all of us because of the festival, so it is wise indeed to change it at least for tomorrow...

More pictures from the festival:

Day 24.

So today was not the best working day for me. After yesterday’s acupuncture session my leg kept on getting worse and worse and this morning i couldn’t even walk properly. So i had to stay at home, while everyone was working. No one actually said anything bad about it and i was helping as much as possible at home, but i was having hard time dealing with that. I condemned myself and wasn’t feeling too good the first half of the day, but then i understood i cannot change anything about it, so i just tried to keep on the positive side. Our host really worried about me, which again and again reminded me, it’s not previous place anymore. In general i met way friendlier people here, for instance not just the host was calling the doctor in the morning, but the doctor himself called in the afternoon asking how’s my leg, is it getting better or worse, just taking care. He wanted to run another check up if it’s not getting better, but i started feeling slightly better by the end of the day. The day was quite good, despite the awkwardness about not being able to work. But i had a nice conversation with one of the wwoofers and the evening was lots of fun - kinda needed that to relax a little bit.

Some of us are getting quite edgy though. Today i had to bounce back one pretty sharp remark. It didn’t hurt me too much, but still scratched and even though there’s no pain, it burns. Just like weeding roses - you don’t get cut properly, but the scratches burn afterwards for a while. I already was warned about that guy, so i really just tried to flush it out of my system as soon as possible. And also, we have to understand some of them, who are staying here for months, even years - they deserve to be edgy every once in a while. Of course, the ideal way would be for them to work on their stress by themselves, not involving other people, but sometimes it happens i guess.

Because of my leg i missed something really interesting today... I was nagging about climbing to mountains from the very first day after i arrived here and today during the lunch break guys went to the mountain. It was sooo unfair - they climbed it exactly on the day, when i couldn’t walk. And tomorrow we’re having a festival, so i hope i could go at least for an hour, just to make some pictures.

Days are going by really nicely, i had first three days off, yesterday i worked, today i couldn’t do much, tomorrow we’re having a day off because of the festival, but we’re working again on Monday (had to take a look at the calendar, what day is the day after festival - no sense of time anymore...).

I have some worries that sometimes takes me away from the actual happenings and puts me in some kinda personal labyrinth. Some things are happening here, that i might wanna have avoided, but it happened already and now cannot be undone. But that spoils the fun every once in a while. I just have to pull myself together when the upset face is trying to cover my smile and that’s it!

Day 18.

It is nice to have smth in common with a person from sucha different culture, don't you think? Today i met the guy from yesterday. We played guitars, chatted, went to eat - i was really enjoying the evening. Something impossible happened as well - i went to karaoke for the first time in my life. It's totally his fault! But i have to admit, that it was kinda fun... So, i am so sorry, that i always said 'no' and spoiled fun, from now on i will also go to karaoke with my friends.

Anyway, we were heading to the station already, when it hit me, that we have quite a few things in common and that again made me feel, that every each of us is just part of this world, we are all human beings, we are coming from the same roots. But because of education, friends, society system we greatly differ. That doesn't mean though, that we wouldn't be able to find a soul-mate or a dear friend in a totally foreign culture. I wouldn't call japanese culture totally foreign for me, because i'm interested in it and have been into it for a while now, but still, if we looked to the beginning of my life - i grew up differently than japanese kids, i had different education, different family, i lost the need to fit in, which is still really significant in Japan, and yet, i'm sitting in front of Hachioji's station and playing guitar, singing with a person, who could become a good friend of mine! And we talk, and i wanna talk more and more and more... This makes me wanna travel all around the world more and more every day! Find the clashing points in cultures and find the similarities, learn from different people, gain experience - become a rich personality...

Rain was pouring on my way back home, but i still had my smile on. I was a little bit upset down in my heart, because i knew i'm leaving really soon and i won't be able to meet the guy for long long time (maybe even couple of years!), and who knows if we would still have the wanting to meet after those years, but i still feel that he left a trace in my life. One doesn't have to be genius to impress people or leave a trace, even a small one, in their memories. One just has to have something real and genuine inside and open up at the right moment about the right things. He told me about a girl, who left a big impression on him, and the fact that he is able to value it means a lot for me. Because nowadays, emotions are left behind most of the time...

When we were playing, i was just enjoying the music and then i saw a group of foreigners taking pictures of each other, looking around and then another impossible thing happened - i saw on their T-shirts "Lietuva", which means Lithuania in lithuanian language. I was sooo wicked! I went to them and we just chatted about small things. They came here to the festival and the reason to go to Japan was a karate championship (by the way, japanese won... as always...), it was really nice to meet someone from my own country in Japan! Of course, when i'm in lithuanian gatherings or visiting the embassy, i meet lithuanians, but to meet someone (and they were maybe 6-7 people at once!!!) just by accident is nearly impossible. But things do happen, right..?

This evening is for the last one here in Hino, i got an unbelievable present from our hosts' son - a rilakkuma and a bag with it!!! That's also soo amazing, since i'm just crazy about rilakkuma. I wanted to do many things, but i didn't have any time for them, since i was pretty busy here and those 10 days passed by so fast. I promised my host-momma, that i'm gonna give pictures from Clare (the place where i work) to her, but i even had to break this promise, because i just didn't have enough time to retouch any of the pics. But this is not that big problem, since we all have internet nowadays.

Today i have lots to tell in fact, but because of the whole leaving mood and because of still too vivid experiences, it's difficult for me to put everything in a neat order. I'm not sure when i'll be able to write the next post, because i don't have any idea, if they will have internet in Sasayama, but i sure hope they will!

Day 13.

TIRED!!!

Since i'm the only one here, i'm working a lot... Not because she gives me more tasks (well today she did actually), but mostly because i'm alone, so i just do my work. I don't chat and fool around with other wwoofers... Doing that, i finish faster, which means i get a new task. Today i walked the dog, baked breads, cleaned the wwoofers' house, worked in the kitchen a bit, picked apples and aubergines, did some gardening (weeding and watering)... I dared to eat some more grapes today, because i was weeding just right next to them. Oh, boy are they delicious!

Sometimes i am still surprised by the size of Clare's garden and by the variety of things growing there - from nicest rose till dill, from apples till aubergines. You can find there many sorts of herbs and i'm not even starting to talk about flowers. It's really beautiful. The garden needs way more weeding though, than it's done, but if you manage to ignore the mess, then you can enjoy it. It's nice to wake up in the morning and pick some blueberries for breakfast and afterwards make some fresh mint tea for brunch and maybe bake an apple pie and pick some basil leaves for salads in the evening. Anyway, it's lots of work. I know now... Today after doing all those things i was sooo happy that she let me go 15 minutes earlier! I took a long refreshing shower and just relaxed doing nothing but lying on the bed.

It might sound strange, but i'm preparing to sleep soon, even though it's just around 21.oo o'clock. I wanna be energetic tomorrow not like today. I was planning to go sunbathe a little bit on my lunch break, because the weather was sooo lovely (not like on my days off... Both days off were cloudy), but after lunch i came to check my facebook and laid down on the bed, so it all ended in me, sleeping through the whole break. Tomorrow i'm really going to sunbathe a little bit, because that white back is really funny.

I'm noticing my growing appetite, since i'm on my pms and that worries me a little bit. I will have to work on the first day of my period and that's not good, because normally i'm in sucha big pain, i barely can move a finger. But we'll see. I have some pain killers in my bag, so i'll be probably popping the pills like candies. That's not all that's bothering me... My feet still itch like hell!!! And it's not getting better. I don't have any medicine that could help relieve it, so it's really pain in the ass (feet and ass! Yeah!). But i'll survive! I hope...

After talking to my mom yesterday i feel the urge to make one thing clear. It's not so bad here as it might look like from my blogs. It's just that i'm telling more about bad things, than good ones. Well, yeah it is true, that there are not so many good sides, but in general it's not bad. I get food (or i cook by myself, but i get ingredients), i get bed and shower, they talk to me and i can have my own time after work. Of course, there are things (quite a few...) that are ruining the whole stay, but it's doable here. So don't worry about me too much. I'm still young, i care about it way less than you do.

Tomorrow by the way, one more wwoofer is coming - a guy from Taiwan, so i'm not gonna be alone. However, he is a guy, so he's gonna be working with our host-dad and not with me... Pity. Today one girl had to come (also from Taiwan), but she hasn't arrived yet, nor did she send any message, so she's either not coming at all, or arriving out of the blue. I have 5 more days here and then i'm off to Sasayama! I really wish it wouldn't be worse than this one, because that would be probably too much for me. I'm looking forward to it! And for those coming 5 days i'll keep on ignoring host-momma's moodiness and stupid remarks, keep on enjoying good weather and taking pictures of everything around me.

For those, who are in Japan, you are more than welcome to visit us in Hino at Clare Home & Garden to have a nibble on some home-made bread.