Slowly i get the feeling i wanna stay here longer than i planned... And i’m not just talking about staying longer for couple of days and even not for couple of weeks - i’d like to stay here for months.... Maybe for 6 months or something like that. Even thought this place is not perfect, but i feel good here, i can relax and feel at ease, which is some kinda luxury in my life lately, so i put a great value on how i feel mentally, energetically and psychologically. There is one girl here, who planned to stay here for a week and now she’s been here for over a year. That’s how it is with this place... You just wanna stay. You always have work, you have lots of things to take care of, you meet loads of new interesting people and you can relax when you adapt to the working schedule and how everything’s working. I will recommend this place to everyone who’s wwoofing in Japan!
I also get the feeling that i’m welcomed here, people are warm and open. You always find someone who wants to help you or offers this and that, most of them are friendly towards you even though you might have difficulties communicating. The feeling that you are a foreign person but you are accepted is something that i don’t even have back in Germany where i live, so it’s a big contrast for me. Every once in a while there’s a big sigh when i think about things like that... I’m still on my way to find home and it’s kinda sad knowing that the place, where i’ve been living for 3 years already, doesn’t really feel like home, even though the practical life makes it my home.
With having less people here, we also have less stress which is good for all of us. The atmosphere became more relaxed and people right now are more cooperative, because when there’s over 20 people, it’s hard to get hold of everything, it’s hard to communicate between all of us and it’s getting tricky, because someone did this and that wrong, someone didn’t hear about that, someone forgot that, didn’t do that, left that and so on. Right now it’s easy to share the tasks and mostly everyone know what, when and how to do it.
Anyway, even though we have less people, today we had a harsh conversation. I was also dragged in, because i’m one of those, who don’t shut their mouth and say what they’re thinking. I had a major headache in the evening and that conversation didn’t help. I really felt bad and upset afterwards and was just boiling with black emotions. People do many things and sometimes they don’t really think about the consequences. What people also do often - they cannot pull themselves together and go to a person and say “i’m sorry”, or at least come and talk face to face about what happened. It is not nice when you fuck up and then you have to admit it and try making things better, but it’s something everyone should try to learn. It’s still difficult for me as well, but that’s why i’m thinking what i’m saying while still in conversation, so i don’t have to continue the conversation afterwards and be sorry for what i said. Human communication is complicated and complex, and some of the modern people tend to forget its necessity at all, because we fail so many times. And it is sad... It is difficult to understand other people, but why don’t we try? Why don’t we listen really well, why don’t we try thinking about the words we’re saying and why don’t we try getting better in it? For me communication is one of the most important thing in my life. I hope i will never become a person who doesn’t see further than the tip of his own nose.
One more interesting thing about this place... Well, i’ve been trying to find a good topic for my bachelor thesis and i think this place might be a good starting point. I could write about wwoofing and this kinda project, that we are doing and how does it affect this region. I don’t want to say too much about it, because it might be my bachelor subject, so i wanna keep the details to myself for now. Basically, the thing i’m doing right now would be my starting point and i would try to approach it from different perspectives. I still don’t know the topic would be approved, but i kinda like it! I had some ideas, but all of them were either too broad, or too specific and needed research, which takes too much time and is more suited for masters, or they were just too cheesy. This is something you won’t find that often and i really do think it is interesting.
Today was actually a pretty active day, i had many ideas, our group worked really well, i made some plans for the next workdays. Being active and being able to take care of something completely and doing that from the scratch makes me feel in my own shoes. Some people in here wanna be leaders way too much and by that they suppress other guys, especially the new ones, but i cannot just sit in one place - i also need responsibilities and things that i do on my own. One of the ideas cannot be done though... I wanted to build an outdoors brick oven, so we can bake bread and things that need to be done in the oven (we don’t have one), and people liked the idea. But the owner of this place doesn’t wanna have an oven, because it might be understood as potential danger. I was already dreaming about bread, so it’s a pity we cannot build it.
I would like to update my blog more often, because even my mom wrote me to my cell phone mail, which she usually doesn’t do. That really means something. So, i’m sorry guys i’m not able to keep you up to date every day, be happy for me! I’m doing fine even without constant internet connection. It’s hard, but it’s manageable.
Today i tried jogging, but my leg is still hurting too much, so i gave up after 5 minutes. I did some exercises and i should continue with that, because i do not wanna get all chubby which is already happening, but my body is pretty happy with that and to be honest - me too. We don’t work too hard, but staying in the sun is already quite a challenge. And every once in a while, we go to the supermarket or the city nearby on bikes which takes 20 minutes to 1 hour (one way). The latter one is quite an exercise.
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